We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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