I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
