...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
