Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
