You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
