so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
