What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
