I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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