Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
