and you said cock pushups were impossible
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize