im gay
i know
yea but for you.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
