Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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