i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
