Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
