boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Floor bacon is actually really good
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
