your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize