Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
