i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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