So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
