It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
is it fun? or sober?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
