We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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