Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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