Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just pee around me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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