This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
