How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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