I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
