He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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