Where are you?
In a non slutty way
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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