i think i scared a bird with my dick
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
