He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
