So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Randomize
