I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
