i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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