no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize