Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
A+ Viking dick
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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