You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
