Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
