do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
