I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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