We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
