shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
