Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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