But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
