My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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