Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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