Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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