guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
