All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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