I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
