how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
