I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You're like the curious george of whores
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
