And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
