Quick, to the slutcave!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
