WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize