On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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