CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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