Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I would ride that face into the sunset
The adults are the big ones right?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
