oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
