I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
