he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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